TO FLING MY ARMS WIDE

 I talk to myself. I dream my life out loud.

I sit on the plane, seat 16D, and I see a little boy playing a game on his phone as we sail through the skies. But I’m not really watching him play…instead I’m seeing myself living inside that game. I’m scaling castle walls and hiding behind corners, anxiously waiting to pounce on my enemy. I feel powerful and invincible as I slay dragons and save princes.

I blink and look out the window.

I see cumulus clouds for miles and miles, with bright sunlight filtering through. I imagine laying on the soft grass with my very best friends, shaking with laughter, brimming with joy, overcome with happiness. I don’t even know what we’re laughing about, and it doesn’t even matter.

The sunlight breaks.

I see your shadow in the distance.  I am drawn to your aura. Mesmerized by your persona.  I feel myself float to you, encouraged by curiosity, yet assured by your calming presence. I peer into fawn-like eyes, struck by the honesty behind your gaze, as you boldly reach for my hand. A sense of peace envelops me. The anxious rhythm of my heart drops to a steady beat that is perfectly timed with yours.

As we turn, I walk tall with the knowledge of battles fought, my ears still tingle with lingering laughter behind me, and I only feel possibility ahead.

I talk to myself. I dream my life out loud. I don’t know what it means. But it is who I am.  

This post was inspired by one of my favorite poems, that I have loved since I was thirteen. Dream Variations by Langston Hughes.