LIFE LESSON: DUCKS ≠ PEACOCKS

If it looks like a duck, if it waddles like a duck and quacks like one too…it ain’t a peacock

Why is it so difficult sometimes to accept the situation for what it is, to see the person for who they truly are? Sometimes, as human beings who live and love, I feel that we fail to recognize things for what they are and instead only focus on how we want them to be.

a bubble of comfort.

The thing I’m coming to recognize more and more each day is that most people show you who they are before you even realize it. Sometimes we just want someone to be something so badly that we fail to take them at face value—both in good ways and bad. And in the end, it only brings us disappointment.

evasion of reality.

If he says he's gonna call but never does or only texts instead, he's just not interested. If your boss tells you they really want you to grow in your professional career but never offers those opportunities, they don’t mean it. If that one friend only reaches out when they need something, they aren’t as good of a friend as you think. And honestly, that’s ok. It is what it is and there’s not much you can do about it.

c’est la vie.

Ok so I know this all probably sounds a bit gloomy…and a little unlike me. I’m most definitely the “I see good in everyone, we are all happy, shiny people” kinda of a person. But more recently I’ve been questioning why I do that, is it really a good thing, and where it’s gotten me so far.

I’m not saying lose all hope. I don’t advocate lowering expectations just so you aren’t disappointed. That’s not realistic. We are people. And people have expectations. But I do believe in aligning our expectations with the truth of the situation at hand.  So that disappointment doesn’t hit as hard. And joy is more pure.

When you start to form a more realistic view of the world, based on realistic expectations, the highs becoming higher and hope takes on a new meaning. When people surprise you, they really surprise you and it’s a good thing. No, it’s a great thing! You learn to appreciate and cherish the authentic relationships, the true friendships, the “do what you say, say what you mean” kinda people in your life in a whole new way.

And you become that for other people too. Accountability, responsibility, commitment all become such true concepts with real, lived meaning. A meaning found in expectations, grounded in reality.

On most days, there’s not much you can do about the things that happen to you. But you can control how you react to all that is happening. For me, that starts with being more aware of myself, understanding the expectations I place on people and situations, and trying my best to see things for what they truly are.  Only by working on myself and focusing on what I can control, will I get to a place of greater understanding and appreciation.  

Good intentions, a pure heart, yet eyes always wide open. Just so I can tell if it’s a duck or a peacock ;)